posting is my only way to vent my feelings.
i'm sorry it's always heartbroken quotes.
that's just how the story of my life goes.
and i'm sorry i hardly ever update, i know i suck.
so here's an extra long post to make up for everything.
thank you everyone for the feedback, it keeps me coming back.


&!



i’ll tell you the truth so close to your lips it’ll taste like a lie.
there’s a tongue in my mouth. it matters. this fucking matters.
the only thing that works is the truth and you are the hardest truth to tell.




we know it’s never simple, never easy.
never a clean break, no one here to save me.
you’re the only thing i know like the back of my hand,
and i can’t breathe without you, but i have to.




tonight, i raise my glass to being no one else's fool.




no matter what happens, life still goes on.
you have to know that. stop hanging on.
let go and move on.




i watched you change with the seasons.
i wrote you letters but i forgot to mention that,
i'm a wreck, i'm a mess, you're a stranger.




don't you dare tell me i am the reason we are here.
i spend enough sleepless nights in this bed,
to know this isn't just all in my head.




love is a second, third, fourth fifth shot.
God knows i need it; God knows you haven't forgot.
oh and you are too much like a drug to me.
no longer what i want, just what i think i need.





there is a reason i feel lost when i'm not with you:
it's not because of love,
it's just that you are what i've gotten used to.




revenge is sweeter than you ever were.




i've walked in time with past regrets.
i've remembered some forgot the rest.
i cannot hold the weight alone,
you can't let go of what you know.




maybe its the only way we can finally stand on our own.
you know, to hurt each other so much that we have no choice.




so come on, get higher, loosen my lips.
faith and desire in the swing of your hips.
just pull me down hard, and drown me in love.




let's pretend the snow isn't the only thing falling fast.




tell me what you thought about when you were gone and so alone.
the worst is over, you can have the best of me.
we got older, but we're still young.
we never grew out of this feeling that we wont give up.




i'm falling in and out of love, finally stopping what we were made of.
"Oh, you're done." by summer I'll have you on your knees,
come August and you'll lie right through your teeth.
and it's oh so typical but what i need.




i can still see who you used to be.
you're not dead to me.




if you don’t have anything nice to say just hold it all in and choke.
and maybe, even suffocate on every half truth you’ve told.
you say you’re better off without me in your life and i guess i’ll take it this time,
because truth be told you were never there from the start.




i was a hopeless romantic, now i'm just turning tricks.




i'm running through your veins like a habit you can't kick.
here's a secret confession from a life long obsession
as i'm staring out your window pane,
our bodies started kissing in a language i don't know,
so give up, give in.




and i don't understand why i sleep all day
and i start to complain when there is no rain.
i don't believe in miracles but i believe in you.




burned out on 2 hours of shut-eye.
eyes glazed at the thought of the next 8 hours.
headwind cold rain to wake me.
you were the last good thing I ever saw.





if given the chance, what's a girl to do?
you really want to know what's going on in my head?
if so i'll have to tell you with my lips.
lovely lips, tangles in sheets.
who needs love when you've got insecurities?




i'm going to give you everything that i am
and i'm handing in everything that i've got.
because i want to have a really true love
and i don't want to have to go and give you up
i want to make love worth the fights and struggles.
if i'm going to do this, i'm going to do this right.




today's the today you finally realized
why you shouldn't have ignored me that night.
well i've already moved on.
try ignoring that.




you said to write you a song.
so here, this is for you.
now as you toss through those lonely nights.
just know there is someone thinking of you.




you should've buried the truth with your secrets,
but you were far too impressed with your pretence.
now as far as i know, i don't know anything.
cause you made damn sure i wasn't anything.






comments please, show me you still come here.

i'm so sorry i haven't posted in so long.
posting always makes me feel better, i guess.
this is longer than usual to make up for lost time.
feedback is always appreciated.


&!


sometimes in your life, you need lust.
you need the adrenaline rush of knowing that this is not forever,
 and that you're not committed to anything.




i'm so in control.
and having control is better than having you.
this disease won't keep me warm at night,
but now, neither will you.
my body aches for acceptance and compliments.




your pretty brown eyes have caused a weakness in my lies.
the tension through my fingers no longer lingers.
my hard, glazed stare is beginning to soften.
yet the pendulum is swinging, tell me how long will it really last?
you can't fool me.




you said you want it, you said you need it,
what you don't know is i know that you can't get it.
you said you know me, you know nothing at all.
you said you hate me, well, believe me, i hate you too.




and if this is ever meant to end,
then i hope it ends where it began
so hot with love, we burned our hands.




it's time to move on, cause the past can't be your passion.




the stars aren’t beautiful, advice is never useful.
and i still walk the line held tight with my regrets.
i'd rather die than live like this.
i’ve gotta give up giving in.




i hope that you can find some peace in life.
can you survive without me?
‘cause i thought i’d be fine.
now i am slurring every single line.




this isn't a conversation about this being over.
i'm not like, putting a period at the end of this.
i'm putting an ellipsis on it, on us.




everything was perfect,
until you decided that i wasn't.




well i know i'll never make things right.
and i'm fine with this, as long as you sleep well at night.
so sleep well cause what's been said i surely meant.
and i'm happy for you if you're happy without me.




i know someone sings the song, the song of your heart.
i guess i didn't have the voice, and i'm sorry.
i close my eyes and it's just your face.
and on my heart i wrote your name.
i want you to be free, i want you to be free from me.




these nights i get high just from breathing.
when i lie here with you, i'm sure that i'm real.
like that firework over the freeway.
i could stay here all day, but that's not how you feel.




i'm here if you want me, yours you can hold me.
i'm empty and taken, tumbling and breaking.
cause you don't see me and you don't need me.
and you don't love me the way i wish you would.




fighting back the impulse turn my head and close my eyes.
spending these nights awake and cold and paralyzed.
wonder how we got this far and never realized.




i miss the person that you were,
but i don't miss you.




everyday, with worthless words we get more far away.
the distance between us makes it so hard to stay.
nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe.
it hurts but it may be the only way.




i still remember everything.
every mistake, every apology.




i like that you ramble when you're nervous.
i like that i know that you ramble when you're nervous,
and i like that i still make you nervous.




i must confess, i'm not impressed
there's nothing worse than losing you.




the light decides to turn green.
me and you together, this is getting better.
butterflies won't do cause don't want just red lights.
i want more of these nights.




i'm bleeding and i'm heartless but i'm yours.
and i'm scratching down every blurry scene.
on the mattress where you used to sleep and dream.
i'd rather chew on broken glass.
then keep on living in the past.
and wasting time on words i know you didn't mean.




i'm beating myself up over this.
you're like a fever i can't get over.




i got the point that i should leave you alone
but we both know that i'm not that strong
and i miss the lips that made me fly.




i write a letter to you in my journal every night
because you're too busy to talk to me now.




it takes more than plans to feel like this.
if only we could know what we were getting into
and just what we would both mean to the other.
i don't think i'll get much sleep tonight.




i hope you know that you were my best friend.
tonight i said goodbye, but i should have said more.
thanks for the best time of my life.




i'll give you one last chance before i go.
tell me you love me and that you're sorry.
tell me that you can't live without me.
i swear i'll unpack my suitcase right now.




take this silence like a pill so i can breathe again.
i've been trying to ignore the best part of you.
but i'm still hoping that i'll be with you somehow.




i tried to move you, but you wouldnt budge.
i tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge.
i think you know what i'm getting at.
you said goodbye and i just don't want you regretting that.




it's a thrill i can't shake.
yeah, i know i've been writing a mistake.
but it's hard to erase these feelings i've drawn.




well i'm am insecure, and if you dont know this by now.
i'm telling you the only way that i know how.
i love to hate myself, i've made my own hell.




when i wake up i feel restless as before.
you've stolen all my sleep, so you can grab your keys.
but don't you dare forget about me.




i'm letting go of everything i used to love.
dropping all the things i cared about,
and for once i'm doing everything for myself.
i'm not worried about if were going to be together,
because why should i care if you never did.




you were wild and crazy just so frustrating.
intoxicating, complicated got away by some mistake.




i don't want to spend my days getting dizzy chasing after you,
you're yesterday's news, i hate to take that fire from you.
you're the broken rope i hold onto.




i’m trying real hard not to shake, i’m biting my tongue.
i'm feeling alive and with every breath that i take, i feel like i’ve won.
you’re my key to survival. but it’s no use going back to yesterday,
because i was a different person then.




“if it’s not where it belongs, it might as well be gone.”




"you can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks,
or when months over-analyzing a situation;
trying to put the pieces together, justifying what
could've, would've happened.
.. or you can just leave the pieces on the floor,
and move the fuck on."
- tupac




your words are cold, and the season is too.
the comfort in your voice is gone.
don't keep in touch, i'm better off alone.




he's just a boy who doesn't know what's in front of him.
and she's just a girl who never learned how to let go.





comments, please.

as always, thank you so much for the feedback.
i'm sorry i don't post a lot, i don't have time to.
so i'm trying to make these entries long and worth it.
let me know what you think.


&!


and we know it’s never simple, never easy.
never a clean break, noone here to save me.
you’re the only thing i know like the back of my hand,
and i can’t breathe without you, but i have to.




you run and tell your friends that you're leaving me
they say that they don't see what you see in me.
you wait a couple months then you go see
you'll never find somebody better than me.




the day i walked away in December,
i will always remember, i'll regret it forever.
i remember brown eyes, so sad and blue skies.
turned to darkness and night, i'm so sick of the fight.




i got the right to put up a fight but not quite cause you cut off my light
but my sight is better tonight and I might see you in my nightmare.
oh, how did you get there cause we were once a fairytale.
but this is farewell.




things replace things, things replace you.




i might be a fool, you might be one too.
maybe we're all that we needed.
two wrongs don't make a right, but i don't care tonight.
maybe we're all that we needed.




i can't keep myself from shaking and i'm always so cold.
and the look in my eyes tell the story of restless nights up until dawn.
but that's how it is not that you're gone.
i'm only half alive on the inside.




this is what i get for wishful thinking.




well, how did you expect it would be?
you signed up for a car crash when you signed up with me.
and you can’t swim to safety on a sinking ship,
so go home baby if you’re ready to quit.




i will never ask if you don't ever tell me.
i know you well enough to know you never loved me.
and all of this was all your fault.




so call it quits or get a grip.
you say you wanted a solution.
you just wanted to be missed.




call me a safe bet. i'm betting i'm not.
i'm glad that you can forgive.
only hoping as time goes, you can forget.




my mind is set on winter’s end,
and driving convertibles down highways that never end.
just let me drive away, instead of chasing all these dreams.
don’t bring me down to keep me sane.
we can’t go back, to how things were.
but if i find a highway long enough, i swear i’m gone.




for a physical challenge, i'm notoriously bored.
intravenous delivery, electrolytes and more.
every time it's the same routine, out with the bad, in with clean.
before i lose all motor skills, there's one thing you should know,
this is for real. this time i mean it, i'm coming clean.
please, don't let go.




just one fix to keep me in the mix, and i'm still strung out on you.
drove all night, i'm a deer in your headlights.
what's left of me, you'll swallow soon.
too much of you is never enough.




i'll show society exactly what you mean to me.
why do i stay when all you do is leave?




what kind of relationship is this if we're both hating it?
what happened to the times when you and i connected at the lips?
and if you see me on my knees again,
can you please repeat the part about us being friends?




i was just a crutch for your lonliness,
your heart was never really there.




i thought we went through this.
i know that i can't be the only thing that matters.
i'll never settle down, unless it is for you.




don't be so damn benign.
and don't waste my fucking time.
don't ask me how i've been.




buy me an advent calendar,
it seems the thought of days without you make me sadder.
don’t visit me, now you make me want to do myself in.
i’ll see you sometime, but i won’t see you soon.





comments, please.